I'm Pissed.

How's that for an update! Lovely, just like my attitude right now. It's only been a week since we found out about the chem preg, but I am still so angry. I don't know if it's a healthy way to feel or not. If I have to do something productive or be around people I'm only able to stuff my emotions for an hour or two max. Then I can't take it anymore and I go back into angry/bitter/sad mode. Note an emphasis on the angry and bitter. I'm usually able to move on and look ahead but I'm in it deep this time.

I had to go back to Dr. D's office this morning to get blood work. They needed to make sure that all of the HCG was out of my system. I loved having an appointment to make sure that I'm totally and completely not pregnant. I passed with flying colors. Yay me!

I was caught totally off guard by how angry (there's that word again) and upset I was walking into the doctor's office. The last two times I was there I was pregnant. WTH! I had so many questions to ask the nurse about my FET cycle but I couldn't get any of them out because I was choking back tears. Why?! Why today? I didn't cry yesterday! I just need to get past this and find some hope again. I feel so bad for J. He doesn't know what to do with me. He's hanging in there like a champ on my roller coaster of emotions. Bitterness is so unattractive and selfish. I can't believe this is where life has taken me.