It's Over

It's over as soon as it started. I had the pleasure of being pregnant for 48 hours. I guess when I said that I felt like I didn't deserve it I was right. I didn't deserve it.

To be honest I was shocked, stunned. I had concerns that my count might not double. I honestly thought that if it fell short it would at least be close. My jaw just hit the floor when the nurse told me that my beta DROPPED........to 19!!! WTH! I will never ever again have faith that a pee stick means anything! The freakin line was getting darker. A 19 shouldn't even register as a positive test.

I can't find any way to summarize my emotions. I'm usually able to contain them at least for awhile. This time I was crying before I hung up the phone and within seconds I was bawling my eyes out. I don't remember ever crying that hard. Poor J. I know he's hurting too. I think he was even more shocked than I was. He is so strong. He's my rock. He holds it all together for me when I can't do it for myself.

I still have much more to say about this. It will come. Tomorrow we meet with Dr. D for our WTF appointment.