We had our follow up appointment with Dr. D. He is very encouraged that I had a chemical pregnancy and so is J. I wish I could feel the same way. I still feel like it was a cruel trick that didn't get us any closer to our goal.
I had great concerns about immune issues and antibodies attacking our embryos (thank you google). I had convinced myself that type of testing was our next step. So, I wasn't expecting it and I wasn't totally shocked when Dr. D gave me my sentence, another lap. Gosh, it's just what I've always wanted, and just in time for my 30th birthday.
Dr. D thinks my endo has come back in full force since my lap last year. He gave endo a 95% chance of causing the failed implantation. We discussed it for quite some time and then agreed that if he doesn't find significant endo during the lap then we would pursue other tests before my next cycle. I was also bummed about the lap because it thought it would push us out an extra month. We have company coming to stay with us this month. I just didn't see how I could work around that for a lap on CD6-11. I was so super happy when Dr. D told me that taking BCPs would allow me to have the surgery later in the month. Yay, no extra break cycles :)
So our official plan is for a lap in a few weeks followed the next month by a frozen embryo transfer. If that doesn't work we will go immediately into another fresh cycle. J seems to be spending lots of time trying to figure out exactly how many embryos with make it through the thaw. We have 4 to work with so I'm praying that they will all stay strong.
I wish I could say that I'm excited and hopeful but I'm not. I think I can get there but it's going to take some time.
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2 comments:
I am sooo sorry for all that you are going through. Having just had an early m/c myself, I know the spectrum of emotions and thoughts that you must be going through.
I am glad that you are able to move forward sooner rather than later. I ended up pushing back on my doctor after she told me to wait 3 cycles (since for me 3 cycles would be at least a year). I am now waiting my one cycle and this limbo land of just waiting is excruciating.
Big hugs to you and I hope that you are doing ok.
Lany,
Thank you so much for your comment. It is so comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this. I hope you get to move along quickly with your treatment. I'm also praying that BFPs and healthy babies are right around the corner for both of us. Thanks again.
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